Saturday, February 14, 2009

News Flash

I am putting a bit of a spin on things. To make this blog post more interesting I am going to do it like a news report and be sure to watch for my catch phrase which is NEWS FLASH!! I know pretty common but yeah. The segment is called "A Little Thing About Friendship."

OK so this is how I view things when it comes to friendship. I guess you can call me old-fashioned or what not. I am bringing this topic up because this is what my brother and sister never see in the people they hang around and they should. It's called standing up for yourself, don't ever feel that the only friends you can ever have are people like this.

So let's begin on what not to look for in friends, here are some example of people you shouldn't hang out with:

Number 1: If your "friend(s)" come over to "hang out" and all he/she does is use your stuff (i.e. phone, computer, etc...) and eat your food then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!! They are just using you for the stuff you have. That's not friendship, that's a little something called using people. Don't fall for it.

Number 2: If your "friend(s)" come over even when you told them not to because you are sick just because they want to play video games or something, then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! If they are your friends, the only reason they should be visiting you when you are sick is to visit and see how you are doing, not to play games and have total disregard to your health.

Number 3: If your "friend(s)" call you over to hang out and they tell you that you cannot come over unless you bring something (i.e. I pod, camera, food, anything really, etc...) then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! Kids these days are so dispicable, using friendship as a poy to get things. How unforgivable!

Number 4: If your "friend(s)" call you over to "hang out" and all they do it call you names, pick on you, and bully you then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! Don't ever let someone look down on your or pretend to be your friend so that they have someone to make miserable. If that someone is you, then I suggest you get out of that friendship immediately. It's not worth the mental, physical, and emotional strain. Not to mention that probable cause of being traumatized by it [there are proven cases ya' know].

Number 5: Be patient, this one is a bit of a long one but it deserves lots and lots of explaining. If your "friend(s)" have no regard for the other people living in the house or your family such as: Calling non-stop to heckle you to see if they can come over after someone says you are not feeling well or such and no company is allowed, or trespassing into someones' backyard to knock on your window to wake you up just so they can "hang out," or opening someones garage without permission and coming inside as if they live there, then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! It's one thing for you to not like your family and or the other people living in your house, but it's not ok for your friends to have total disregard for their existence. Families and/or people living in the same house are bound to have problems, that's just how it is sometimes, but for someone who doesn't think about caring about being considerate just because you are having a fight with them or something. That's not right. If they call more than once after someone tells them you are asleep or sick, then THEY should respect that. It's called common courtesy!! It is sure as H-E-double hockey sticks NOT OK to go into someone's backyard just to knock on a window to wake them up. For one, it's called trespassing, even if you have permission by that one person, if you aren't given permission by the person in charge of the house, you are in serious trouble, and two, how RUDE!! If you are waking them up because they will be late for school then by all means knock away on that window until they wake up. However, if you are just doing it to hang out then GO AWAY!! Never give out your personal garage code to your friends, whether you trust them or not!! I didn't even give my code out to my most trusted friend when I had to go with my family and our dog couldn't come. I gave her a house key and it was a non-duplicable(sp?) key that she was to return to me when I came home. I also left a list of rules to follow and my neighbors also made sure that she wasn't misusing the key to her advantage, like using our house to throw a party or something. A garage code is an easier way to access someones house and if the friend you tell is a blabber mouth and the wrong person gets the code then you are SCREWED...BIG TIME!!

Number 6: If your "friend(s)" are just using you to have a place to come to when they are locked out of their house for whatever reason it may be then News Flash!! THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! I don't mind helping out a friend if they get locked out but if that's their only reason for having you as a friend then you best get a new friend. I am sorry, I love my friends to death but it's not my responsibility to look after you if and when you get locked out of your house. Of course I don't mind helping occassionally but if it's a constant then NO!! Make arrangements and if you are locked out because you lose your key then have a spare laying around under a plant or something or everyone I know who lost their keys always let someone they can trust have a spare key to hold for them or you can stay at a neighbors house. My sister always left her window unlocked [she had no screen and her window was protected very heavily].

Well I think I have covered all the bases that I wanted to and if not then I will update it. So that's it for News Flash!! Hope you found it enjoyable and the information useful. Keep tuned in for any new segments that will appear. If you have any questions or would like to add something please feel free to leave a comment or email me. Thanks for reading my Advice Column and this segment of News Flash!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Heroes

Question:
Who are the heroes in your life? I want to hear more about how people became the person they are today and one good way of doing that is by asking who their hero and/or heroes are. Not only is it a good chance to think and reflect on who has helped you the most but it gives you a chance to become more aware of their existence and be grateful towards them

My Hero(es):
Let me note that this blog is written how I normally would write things granted the time allotted and other circumstances involved. If you have read any of my earlier posts, you will indeed notice the difference in my writing styles. Just wanted to make that known before my post was read, since I know some people are continuous readers of my blog.

There are many people who can be called heroes in this world, but for one to call another that on a personal level is due to their views. Most people choose their parents are their heroes simply because they are their parents and without them, they wouldn't have life. That is fine and dandy, but to me, that does not make a hero. People who I encounter in my life can be heroes in their own sense. Each has come into my life at the right time, the right moment, to give me guidance, support, and to point me in the right direction without making me be something I am not. Whether I choose to listen or follow it is a different story. To me, a hero does not have to be strong in the traditional sense. There are various forms of strength: spiritual, emotional, physical. To judge if someone is a hero based on strength alone is foolish. Some of my heroes may not be strong, but what they lack in strength, they make up in other areas such as wisdom and talent.

If I were to choose who my biggest hero is, I honestly cannot do it. Rather, the people I look up to the most because they are one of my heroes and they are there for me more often would have to be my three most precious people in the world who have made me the person I am today. I am following suit with others here in choosing my parents but not solely because they gave life to me. Countless times they have shown me strength, wisdom, and talent; although not in the normal way a parent would. My Dad, through his faults, taught me endurance, acceptance, change, and deceitfulness. My Mom, in her strength, showed me loyalty, creativeness, being open minded, and kindness. Both of them showed me love but of course as with any parent or in fact, with any individual, they did it in their own unique ways. My third most important person is someone I spent numerous hours with; in fact, when we were younger we were practically inseparable. My Cousin David would have to be my most precious person above even my parents. I am embarrassed to admit but my childhood was quite rocky compared to other children my age. It is thanks to my experiences from that and how my parents handled it and such that I learned from them and grew. How this pertains to my cousin is because he was the person there for me the most. When I was sad he could make me smile and when I was hurt he would know just what to say to make my day better. We were best friends and our bond was deeper than most others. It's like we could sense each other's happiness or sadness and what not. Unfortunately, he is no longer here by my side or anyone elses for that matter. In his life, he protected me, showed me safety, friendship, understanding, and that family is the MOST important thing anyone can have no matter what. With his death, he showed me that not all is what it seems, that life itself is fickle and to not take anything for granted, and that even when one is gone physically, they are not truly gone. Your memories of them, experiences with them, a bond; those can never be taken away from you.

My heroes may not be superheroes or always make the best choices. They have their faults, their bad times and their good times. That is more real and more important to me than strength showed by physical appearance or whatever else tradition dictates as strength. That is why my heroes are so close to my heart. They are pretty much just normal people who surround me in my everyday life. Whether it is a once in a lifetime meeting or a bond that lasts eternity, they are my heroes. The best part about them is that they each have taught me something and have let me learn both from my own experience and theirs. They have let me grow and expand in my own way and not a mold that needs to be filled perfectly. My heroes are my heroes because they made me, me. I am glad to have met the people I have in any situation I have encountered. If given the chance to change something in my life or to live again in a different way, I would say no because my heroes have shown me that there will always be good times and there will always be bad times. Sometimes it is balanced and other times it is not, but as each day passes you grow from your experiences and encounters that occur. I am grateful to have heroes in everyone I meet and most importantly in the people I cherish the most.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Relieving Stress.

Question:
How are some ways you can relieve your stress?

Suggestions:
For every person, relieving stress is different. Different situations for different individuals cause varying levels of emotional and sometimes physical stress/strain. Not only that but some situations make your body so strained or stress that sometimes it's hard to part yourself from that situation at hand (i.e. verbal arguing/attacking); but that usually is the cause of adrenaline and the superiority complex (where one has to be the domineering and won't admit defeat).
Some common ways of relieving stress:
1) NEVER USE DRUGS, ALCOHOL, SEX, OR SELF MUTILATION TO RELIEVE STRESS. THIS WILL CAUSE MORE NEGATIVE OUTCOMES THAN POSITIVE, IF NOT NOW THEN IN THE LONG RUN.
2) Going for a walk
3) Reading a book
4) Taking a long bath/shower/bubble bath
5) Punching something...Preferably a punching bag but if you don't have one then punch pillows or a bed. Restrain from physical attacks on other people or hard surfaces such as walls and tables, and especially restrain from physical attacks against out animal friends
6) Writing...In a diary or just on a piece of paper.
7) Crying...Sometimes it's unavoidable but afterwords you feel better.
You might have other ways of dealing with stress that help you and could help others so feel free to leave comments about how you relieve stress. it might just help someone.

I have different ways of relieving stress for different situations I encounter such as: fights with friends compared to fights with family or getting bad tests scores compared to incompetency at work. Some ways I relieve stress that you can find useful (and yes I will explain each one in detail):
1) When stress occurs when I am at my mom's house (since my parents are divorced), something I do is called "the burning away of stress and pain." My mom has a fireplace at her house and don't worry I don't do anything to me or anyone else. All I do it write what's making me so stressed or strung out then we do like a little ritual and burn the paper with all that stress and it usually makes me feel better, it's literally like I am burning that stress and pain away so that's why I called it "the burning away of stress and pain."
2) My dad lives practically out in the middle of nowhere and he always has wood that needs to be chopped, when I am really angry and feel like pounding or splitting something I go outback to split and chop the logs he has to get my stress to go away. He leaves me wood on purpose because he knows that I do it to relieve stress instead of going and hurting the person that's making me angry or attacking someone who's not related to the problem in any way. Plus he uses the wood when we go camping or he starts a bonfire.
3) I personally love to take bubble baths, this usually only works for me if I am trying to relieve like a bad day at work
4) I have a pretty overruling brother and I try to avoid fights with him, but as we all know with siblings, sometimes it's just not possible. When we get in fights and I know I need to cool down and think rationally about it I pull myself from the fight and walk off my steam and cool down.
5) When I can't do any of the above I resort to reading or on rarer occasions, punching the heck out of my pillow.
6) But sometimes all you need to do is have yourself a good long cry. I know I do, I admit that I do. I am only human after all. There's something to crying that when it's done you just feel better, even if only a little.
I always tell people to turn your negative energy and thoughts into positive energy, thoughts, and actions. It's pretty hard to do but it's my believe that if you force yourself to do it, that after repitition it will become a habit and you will be able to do it unconciously. This could prove very useful in the future. Stay safe and relax when you can. Let the little things slide and worry about the big stuff.

Monday, February 2, 2009

What Happened to Decency and Respect??

What happened to decency and respect in today's world? It's not just adults, but teens, and even worse kids and soon to be toddlers and infants are becoming less in clothing and more in dirty demeanor's. It's horrible how skimpy these clothes keep getting and how flaunting everyone has become. I don't have a problem if you are showing some skin but please I don't want to see your underwear, your boobs(tanks and v-necks are find I am talking about these things hanging out like there's nothing even covering them), your butt, or whatever else you have going on here. This pertains to guys too, with those baggy pants that you complain about but yet wear. It's crazy how short and skimpy these clothes are for girls, especially kids. Yea skirts are cute on little girls but there should be a length limit but obviously clothing companies don't care so long as they are making money. They aren't going to say yeah we were wrong for advertising this for young kids when it's clearly not suitable for them but we aren't the parents. And parents, come on, teach your kids respect for themselves and even if they hate you for stepping in, oh well, it will be loads better then someone finding them alluring and taking them and what not because of how they were dressed.

What's sad is that most females who are flaunting what they say they are so proud of is really a low self-esteem issue and a cry for attention. Honestly girls, don't reduce yourself to such a level, especially don't post them on your myspaces' and what not. It's annoying listening to my friends who have pictures up on their myspaces' of them wearing nothing but their bathing suits doing sexy poses and they are complaining because they are getting harassing emails from people they don't know just wanting to get it on with them and stuff. Well Duh! I mean yeah most guys shouldn't just look and say hey I want to tap that or whatever the lingo is but what do you expect to happen when you are basically taunting and teasing guys with stuff like that. You don't want to be demeaned or looked at like that yet you dress and act like that. It's crazy.

Yeah it's tough to listen to people's OPINIONS of how you dress, but that's all it is..opinions and nothing more. Love yourself and respect yourself. You don't need to flaunt your body and wear skimpy clothing to get attention because I can guarantee you will end up getting more negative attention than positive attention, whether you are a down to earth girl or not. Wear clothes that show who you are but NOT what you are. Hold your head high and don't let people get you down because you want people to notice you for your personality and not your body. Trust me, it's far more rewarding this way. I know from experience. I dress conservatively, yeah I wear a dress now and again but mainly it's jeans or shorts(of an appropriate length), and shirts that are cute and stylish but don't have things popping out of nowhere (not that I really have anything to pop out of my shirts but none the less I am proud of my size [totally different subject but yeah]).

Personal Experience:
I have a shirt that's my favorite shirt in the world. It looks like a dress from little house on the prairie but shorter (it's a shirt after all); with it's floral pattern and it's beige background, poofy sleeves, fabric to the neck, lace lining and a bow on the back. But I just love it to death. I would wear this shirt to school all the time and I would always hear people making fun of me saying things like, "hey grandma, why don't you go back to the farm," and stuff like that. I didn't listen and guess what, I had and still have, more TRUE friends then those who were counted as popular or those who would wear skimpy clothes for attention. There's something I would say to my friends when they didn't believe me. it's a short story but sit and read it'll be worth your while. Who knows, maybe you have read or heard it before. it contains the direct opposite in people so to simplify someone popular and someone normal.

A popular girl gets all dressed up in a short short skirt(i guess that's why they call it a mini), an oh so flattering top that reveals a bit much, some strapping heels and all the right accessories to accentuate her features just flawlessly. She is getting all dressed up to go out on a night of perusing for men at the local bar. The only problem is that she has a low self-esteem, that's why she's dressing up so flaunty. When she gets to the bar and she walks in, she notices that she only attracts few attractive men, some mildly attractive men and a lot of not so attractive men. All of them with cheesy pickup lines and them wanting to buy her a drink hoping that it will lead somewhere. Well, later that night an average girl gets dressed up in some jeans, a stylish top but conservative, with heels and some accessories and little makeup. She is also on a night out perusing for men and she goes to the same bar as the popular girl. When she walks in, she draws the attention of lots of men, mainly attractive men, some mildly attractive men, and few not so attractive men. The popular girl is looking at the average girl not undesrtanding why she is getting not only more men but also more attractive men when she put in so much effort into her looks. The difference is that the average girl has a high self-esteem about herself compared to the popular girl. That's why guys flocked to her, for her personality that shone through and not her looks. Of crouse if you are in a bar looking for guys, no matter if you have a high self-esteem or not and no matter what you are wearing, there will always be some guys trying to get lucky. That's a given.

Just remeber, it's what our parents always tell us: "It's what's on the inside that counts, not the outside."