Question:[self-analysis]
I am at a loss here, I suspect my sister's fiance` is cheating on her and possibly abusing her. I am worried for her and my two nephews because this man has a history of outbursts and anger issues. I do not want my sister or my nephews being hurt or worse, killed; what should I do?
Suggestions:
There is no exact answer to this because there are too many factors to take into account. One of the things to worry about is that the person who is being cheated on and/or abused, do not themselves want to accept or change what's going on out of fear or just plain denial/disbelief, than there is really nothing you can do. People don't take that into account when they see someone, say a child, being abused by an adult that if police are called in to stop this person and the police cannot find enough evidence than the adult will have to be set free of any charges but will be on a watch list so to speak, and often times the child is in a worse predicament because of this. I would tell her how you feel and what you think. She might get angry she might not. I know she did the first time I told her what I felt but that's to be expected. She is not the type to ask for help or show that she can't handle things. It may also have something to do with how I said things. It's currently a really difficult situation because there's just too much complication involved with the children. Both of them have different fathers and both have parental rights. She gets h-e-double hockey sticks from both the father's parents but she is a good mother. And if anyone dares to say she is loose or a slut then I will have to strongly disagree with you. I truly believe, since she was with them individually for a long time that after a while she believed they loved her whole-hearted and that it would last between them. Unfortunately it didn't but that doesn't mean that each child isn't a blessing and to all you who think that abortion is the best way. YOU ARE DEAD WRONG!!
If you choose to have sex then you must accept the consequences, a baby is a consequence therefore it becomes YOUR responsibility and NO ONE elses! If adopting out is the only way then make sure a family member adopts it. Family should be with family not with strangers. There are only few instances that I believe a fetus should be aborted: in cases of rape, if the girl is too young and it will be a great risk for her to carry it to term, if you are having like sextuplets and there is a fatal risk of you losing most their lives and your own(a HUMAN body is simply not made to carry that many), and if a fetus is aborted after it has come to look like a baby(I believe that is like 4 or 5 weeks into term) then I am sorry but that is MURDER!! I don't care how cruel I sound, I am entitled to my beliefs.
I ended up ranting off the subject but that's ok, it gives a better understanding of the situation and where I stand as far as it goes. She might get mad at me for posting this on a public blog but it could end up helping another. For now I can't think of any other suggestions although I know there is more. Keep watching for updates. Thanks
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What's the point in giving up?
Well this one isn't so much an article as it is saying some stuff that is pretty true but yeah. I wrote it and if for anyreason you need to use it for anything, ask my permission first. Thanks!
I don't understand how people can just throw their lives away and kill themselves. I personally can never see life as that bad as to want to end it all. Maybe its because I put in my head that if I have no reason to live then I will prove I do or I will make a reason to live. People who do go through with it are in my view, just being selfish for not thinking of others and how they will feel or what harm they can do to another. Not to mention that many people who shoot themselves in the head to end it, usually don't die. Instead they become a vegetable for the rest of their life. For those people who choose to end it by jumping off of bridges-depending on the bridge and what it's over-they can seriously hurt someone. An example of that is people who jump off a a bridge that is over a roadway where people are currently driving; they can land on a car and hurt someone or cause another accident or they can end up killing someone. That is a blatent disregard for another person's life. I have experienced a death in my family due to suicide and you one) would never think that this particular person would ever do something like that and two) there is nothing that could be that bad!! Honestly! But this person, my family, was only 12 and I guess since with hormonal changes and increase of highschool drama now in middle and elementary schools that in his world, it was that bad. See I know how people can come to the conclusion that things are that bad but think towards the future and choose hope over death. Find someone to talk to, that tends to help ease the pain or lessen the drama one is experiencing at that time. Don't give it all up over something that when you are in heaven or heck, you will find to be completely stupid and pointless. Don't even waste the energy on thinking negative thoughts. Turn those thoughts into positives ones and if you find a reason for not living, say that you are homosexual and your parent who you are really close to until you tell them you are homosexual, after finding out says that they do not accept you and you are no longer part of the family because of it; don't kill yourself over it. Prove to them that you are, become an activist for gay rights or something positive that will not only can help you in your struggle but help others as well.
I don't understand how people can just throw their lives away and kill themselves. I personally can never see life as that bad as to want to end it all. Maybe its because I put in my head that if I have no reason to live then I will prove I do or I will make a reason to live. People who do go through with it are in my view, just being selfish for not thinking of others and how they will feel or what harm they can do to another. Not to mention that many people who shoot themselves in the head to end it, usually don't die. Instead they become a vegetable for the rest of their life. For those people who choose to end it by jumping off of bridges-depending on the bridge and what it's over-they can seriously hurt someone. An example of that is people who jump off a a bridge that is over a roadway where people are currently driving; they can land on a car and hurt someone or cause another accident or they can end up killing someone. That is a blatent disregard for another person's life. I have experienced a death in my family due to suicide and you one) would never think that this particular person would ever do something like that and two) there is nothing that could be that bad!! Honestly! But this person, my family, was only 12 and I guess since with hormonal changes and increase of highschool drama now in middle and elementary schools that in his world, it was that bad. See I know how people can come to the conclusion that things are that bad but think towards the future and choose hope over death. Find someone to talk to, that tends to help ease the pain or lessen the drama one is experiencing at that time. Don't give it all up over something that when you are in heaven or heck, you will find to be completely stupid and pointless. Don't even waste the energy on thinking negative thoughts. Turn those thoughts into positives ones and if you find a reason for not living, say that you are homosexual and your parent who you are really close to until you tell them you are homosexual, after finding out says that they do not accept you and you are no longer part of the family because of it; don't kill yourself over it. Prove to them that you are, become an activist for gay rights or something positive that will not only can help you in your struggle but help others as well.
Homelessness
I wrote this and if for whatever reason someone would like to use my material, please ask permission. That's not too hard to do and it's really easy to do.
In today's world it is hard to tell who is really a homeless person in need and who is just looking to make fast money the lazy way. What is this world coming to where people imitate homeless people because they are too lazy to get a real job and work an honest day's work? It's terrible to think that someone would stoop so low because then it negatively affects TRUE homeless people.
Since it's hard to tell, what is one to do? I personally do not give money to people. If someone asks me if I have money so they can buy food, I say I will not give you money; instead I will buy them some food. Depending on how much I am able to spend, I buy things that will go far like a loaf or two of bread, peanut butter, baby formula(if needed), and water because it's good to keep hydrated. In the off chance it's an adult asking so he/she can feed their children, I usually throw in a little treat like candy or something sweet that they can share because to a child living on a street, it makes them feel special. I have a couple of instances where either my mom or I have done (they are TRUE stories).
Instance 1:
When I was little, it would be my mom watching my sister, my brother, and me. In our front yard we had a palm tree and one day and homeless man came to the door asking if he can trim and cut our palm for some food. Now normally my mom might have taken him up on the offer except for the fact that we were around and she didn't know what the man was capable of, well that and it would be a liability if he got injured since it was kind of a tall palm tree. My mom declined nicely and said she would call a local shelter to come and pick him up (because some places do that) to take him back there where he can clean up and look for a job because if he is asking to trim our palm he is obviously more than able to work and can more than likely find a job, Not only that but a shelter will give him food to. So that's what my mom did. That man later on came back to our house and thanked my mom for giving him the kick in the butt he needed. Sometimes that's all it takes. People think it's heartless what my mom did but it really wasn't, it would be a different story though if it was a single mom with little children, then my mom would've hurried them inside but the man was more than capable of working and although a single mom is, if she has small children it's kind of hard...well it honestly doesn't sound that bad if it was being TOLD instead or being WRITTEN.
Instance 2:
This instance took place not too long ago. My mom and I were at a Circle K, filling up on gas and getting something to drink and for my mom, cigarettes. Well apparently a lady had 2 children with her and I think it was also her younger sister and a man there. What happened was, the man who was with them ran off with everything she had, her wallet and what not and she was heading to her mom's house because she was trying to escape that man but I guess his punishment to her was leaving her stranded. We overheard them and me being miss chitty chat-chat asked why the older lady was crying. Then that's when she told us the story. Even though my mom and I didn't have that much money, my mom and me put together some of our cash, filled up their truck which that man had taken their gas from and gave her $40 dollars for food and drinks on the way and my mom bought water for the two little girls since they were thirsty and the $40 would have to last because they were travelling a far distance. I know where they were going but for protection and paranoia reasons I will not state. Well they were truly grateful and asked for our address so she can repay us, because my mom's part of the money came from her cigarette money, and my mom said no. She told the woman that "it's what God would've done so there is no need to repay her." They left and the clerk at the register said you should've gotten an address to where they were going so you can get repaid and my mom said firmly to her, "no, that's not what God would've done. The biggest reward is knowing that you helped someone who is in need, that's the best type of payment there is."
I just love my mom and how she has taught me to be so kind. I also know from her, how to tell if someone is trying to scam you by pretending to be homeless. If they refuse food and say they want money, either makes them a pretender or a chronic alcoholic and/or gambler. People who are homeless are truly grateful for anything you can spare or give. You can see it in the way they act, and talk and the look in their eyes.
I feel bad for people who become homeless due to the economy and bad luck and people who have lost everything, but I do NOT feel bad for people who are homeless because of something they have done, like alcoholics, druggies, gamblers, etc... That's not to say that I won't help them depending on the situation and how much of a danger it may be for me to help them. However, I do believe that if you are able bodied enough to work then you should. Don't be lazy!
In today's world it is hard to tell who is really a homeless person in need and who is just looking to make fast money the lazy way. What is this world coming to where people imitate homeless people because they are too lazy to get a real job and work an honest day's work? It's terrible to think that someone would stoop so low because then it negatively affects TRUE homeless people.
Since it's hard to tell, what is one to do? I personally do not give money to people. If someone asks me if I have money so they can buy food, I say I will not give you money; instead I will buy them some food. Depending on how much I am able to spend, I buy things that will go far like a loaf or two of bread, peanut butter, baby formula(if needed), and water because it's good to keep hydrated. In the off chance it's an adult asking so he/she can feed their children, I usually throw in a little treat like candy or something sweet that they can share because to a child living on a street, it makes them feel special. I have a couple of instances where either my mom or I have done (they are TRUE stories).
Instance 1:
When I was little, it would be my mom watching my sister, my brother, and me. In our front yard we had a palm tree and one day and homeless man came to the door asking if he can trim and cut our palm for some food. Now normally my mom might have taken him up on the offer except for the fact that we were around and she didn't know what the man was capable of, well that and it would be a liability if he got injured since it was kind of a tall palm tree. My mom declined nicely and said she would call a local shelter to come and pick him up (because some places do that) to take him back there where he can clean up and look for a job because if he is asking to trim our palm he is obviously more than able to work and can more than likely find a job, Not only that but a shelter will give him food to. So that's what my mom did. That man later on came back to our house and thanked my mom for giving him the kick in the butt he needed. Sometimes that's all it takes. People think it's heartless what my mom did but it really wasn't, it would be a different story though if it was a single mom with little children, then my mom would've hurried them inside but the man was more than capable of working and although a single mom is, if she has small children it's kind of hard...well it honestly doesn't sound that bad if it was being TOLD instead or being WRITTEN.
Instance 2:
This instance took place not too long ago. My mom and I were at a Circle K, filling up on gas and getting something to drink and for my mom, cigarettes. Well apparently a lady had 2 children with her and I think it was also her younger sister and a man there. What happened was, the man who was with them ran off with everything she had, her wallet and what not and she was heading to her mom's house because she was trying to escape that man but I guess his punishment to her was leaving her stranded. We overheard them and me being miss chitty chat-chat asked why the older lady was crying. Then that's when she told us the story. Even though my mom and I didn't have that much money, my mom and me put together some of our cash, filled up their truck which that man had taken their gas from and gave her $40 dollars for food and drinks on the way and my mom bought water for the two little girls since they were thirsty and the $40 would have to last because they were travelling a far distance. I know where they were going but for protection and paranoia reasons I will not state. Well they were truly grateful and asked for our address so she can repay us, because my mom's part of the money came from her cigarette money, and my mom said no. She told the woman that "it's what God would've done so there is no need to repay her." They left and the clerk at the register said you should've gotten an address to where they were going so you can get repaid and my mom said firmly to her, "no, that's not what God would've done. The biggest reward is knowing that you helped someone who is in need, that's the best type of payment there is."
I just love my mom and how she has taught me to be so kind. I also know from her, how to tell if someone is trying to scam you by pretending to be homeless. If they refuse food and say they want money, either makes them a pretender or a chronic alcoholic and/or gambler. People who are homeless are truly grateful for anything you can spare or give. You can see it in the way they act, and talk and the look in their eyes.
I feel bad for people who become homeless due to the economy and bad luck and people who have lost everything, but I do NOT feel bad for people who are homeless because of something they have done, like alcoholics, druggies, gamblers, etc... That's not to say that I won't help them depending on the situation and how much of a danger it may be for me to help them. However, I do believe that if you are able bodied enough to work then you should. Don't be lazy!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Family Fued About a Puppy.
[All picture credits belong to allsmallbreeds.com.]
Question:
My family is ready to get another pup and we have been looking for a small one. I on the other hand think that a small pup is similar to a large cat. I would prefer a larger dog, particularly a yellow lab. It's a 3 to 1 favor for the small dog. Should I give in, or stick to my guns?
My family is ready to get another pup and we have been looking for a small one. I on the other hand think that a small pup is similar to a large cat. I would prefer a larger dog, particularly a yellow lab. It's a 3 to 1 favor for the small dog. Should I give in, or stick to my guns?
Suggestion:
Bringing a new pet into the family is always a tough decision, you have to choose the right one. If for protection purposes any size or breed will really do the job since each has it's own unique thing. The things I always think about when choosing the appropriate size or dog and breed of dog is the following:
1.Are there young children present?
2.How much up keep and attention does this particular breed need?
3.Do I have the time to spend giving this particular breed the attention it needs?
4.Is my house safe for it?
This includes indoor and outdoor. You should alway consider this when bringing home any type of animal. This especially includes small breeds since they can get into a lot more because of their size.
5.Will this be an indoor dog or outdoor dog?
It's an important question because if it's an outdoor dog you have to keep up with Animals Laws of the state. The basis of each state is adequate housing for X number of animals, fresh water, fresh food, access to the food and water, etc...It's always good to check up on your state's specific animal laws because animal negligance can be considered a felony in most states.
6.Do I have enough space for this particular breed?
Usually needed for bigger dogs and some really hyper active dogs for exercise and living purposes.
7.How many tall, heavy set, and big footed people do I know or how many people come over regularly?
I know a silly question right? But it's important because if you are getting a smaller dog, sometimes people tend to miss them and the most common people who miss them are taller people, children, heavy set people, and big footed people. A smaller dog will become injured easier because of it's small size.
8.Where will I be getting the dog from?
This is important because you want to check out how the animal has been treated thus far, I always suggest getting an animal from a local shelter because although they may have been mistreated or abused before, it's an animal that will give constant graditute and you never really know what animal you will leave with.
I went in to a local shelter once with my aunt because she wanted a cat and she was determined to get a cat but since they were doing cleanup on the cat cages we stopped and looked on the dogs while we were waiting. She ended up going home with this mutt that is the cutest thing in the world, the only problem she has is an anxiety seperation problem but my aunt didn't care. We never even saw the cats. Just goes to show you that once you are there, who knows what you are going to end up with.
These are just a basis of questions to ask, if you have owned a pet before or are adding to your bundle of beloved pets, then you know the care guide and regiments. If it's a family discussion about the size and breed of the pet, have everyone (even the children, if they can) write down or express why they want that particular one. That way all get a fair share in the descision making process. I would discuss what types of small breeds or large breeds you are looking for then research that particular breed to see how much maintenance and attention that breed needs and if it suits your lifestyle. Some smaller dogs are easier to care for than others.
Bringing a new pet into the family is always a tough decision, you have to choose the right one. If for protection purposes any size or breed will really do the job since each has it's own unique thing. The things I always think about when choosing the appropriate size or dog and breed of dog is the following:
1.Are there young children present?
2.How much up keep and attention does this particular breed need?
3.Do I have the time to spend giving this particular breed the attention it needs?
4.Is my house safe for it?
This includes indoor and outdoor. You should alway consider this when bringing home any type of animal. This especially includes small breeds since they can get into a lot more because of their size.
5.Will this be an indoor dog or outdoor dog?
It's an important question because if it's an outdoor dog you have to keep up with Animals Laws of the state. The basis of each state is adequate housing for X number of animals, fresh water, fresh food, access to the food and water, etc...It's always good to check up on your state's specific animal laws because animal negligance can be considered a felony in most states.
6.Do I have enough space for this particular breed?
Usually needed for bigger dogs and some really hyper active dogs for exercise and living purposes.
7.How many tall, heavy set, and big footed people do I know or how many people come over regularly?
I know a silly question right? But it's important because if you are getting a smaller dog, sometimes people tend to miss them and the most common people who miss them are taller people, children, heavy set people, and big footed people. A smaller dog will become injured easier because of it's small size.
8.Where will I be getting the dog from?
This is important because you want to check out how the animal has been treated thus far, I always suggest getting an animal from a local shelter because although they may have been mistreated or abused before, it's an animal that will give constant graditute and you never really know what animal you will leave with.
I went in to a local shelter once with my aunt because she wanted a cat and she was determined to get a cat but since they were doing cleanup on the cat cages we stopped and looked on the dogs while we were waiting. She ended up going home with this mutt that is the cutest thing in the world, the only problem she has is an anxiety seperation problem but my aunt didn't care. We never even saw the cats. Just goes to show you that once you are there, who knows what you are going to end up with.
These are just a basis of questions to ask, if you have owned a pet before or are adding to your bundle of beloved pets, then you know the care guide and regiments. If it's a family discussion about the size and breed of the pet, have everyone (even the children, if they can) write down or express why they want that particular one. That way all get a fair share in the descision making process. I would discuss what types of small breeds or large breeds you are looking for then research that particular breed to see how much maintenance and attention that breed needs and if it suits your lifestyle. Some smaller dogs are easier to care for than others.
Example:
[Small Breeds]Jack Russells' need large amounts of space to run around and need constant attention, also requires lots of training since their attention span is short while dachshunds on the other hand usually suffice with attention you are able to provide with a hectic work schedule and since their fur is short it's less upkeep (not to mean that you shouldn't groom them still, but it does require less attention).
[Large Breeds] Yellow labs are very energetic and need regular exercise and their coats are short but still need grooming at least once or twice a month where as Border Collies are more relaxed animals, still needing regular exercise but not to the extent that labs do, their hair needs almost constant grooming since they are a longer hair breed of dog.
It's a tough call, both sides have something to offer but with some discussion of the breed of the dog you are looking for a bit of research on that breed then you will find the right one that fits your lifestyle. As far as the giving in part, I wouldn't exactly say just give in but if it comes to a point where they aren't backing down then your guns have to go back in the holsters since it's going no where.
Any dog, with proper training, can be the right one for you but some require more.
Personally, bigger dogs offer more as far as protection purposes. They have a larger muscle mass and whenver you are in a jam, they are strong enough to get you out of that situation. I mean small dogs can help you in a situation but if you were to fall into a river, they can't pull you out like a bigger dog can. I hope I have helped if I haven't rambled into high heck by now. I would love to hear how it goes.
UPDATE: Here's a good website to research the small breeds and they even list off the 10 easiest to train.All Small Dog Breeds
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